Three Twisted Stitches

I have profess'd me thy friend, and I confess me knit to thy deserving with cables of perdurable toughness ~Othello, the Moor of Venice

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Stress Ball: The Return of the Knitting

A few posts ago, I went on and on about how knitting is a stress reliever for me and how I can let go of all the day's stuggles with each little stitch.

Christmas is different. Oh SO different. Knitting becomes a curse. What started as thoughtful gifts that people would truly appreciate became a knitmare.

Elements of a knitmare: (not all appear at the same time, some not at all in some instances)

1. Dropped stitches are a bitch to pick up normally. When you have an hour before the damned thing is supposed to be opened by it's lucky recipient, and you're already late for mass, as well as the dinner party you were supposed to be at---- let's just say dropped stitches are a bitch and leave it at that. I'll try to keep the swearing to a minimum. Ha.

2. Pattern flaws. Not only are they aggravating when you realize there is one, but it's even worse when you have to try and figure out what the stupid wench did wrong when writing out that pattern, and why the hell the editors didn't catch it before sending it out into the world to fuck with the minds of every knitter who picks up that pattern and thinks "Oh this would be fun to knit". Evil bastards. They do it on purpose.... Of course, having made it nearly to the end without any other mistakes, you can't just stop and rip everything out. You have to work your way around the mistake and hope to the knitting gods that you don't end up with something roughly resembling the tangled ball of yarn you started with.

3. Lost patterns. I cannot think of something more frustrating when you are on a tight schedule, and you bring your knitting with you to work on whenever you have a spare moment. The feeling your stomach gives when it's tying itself into knots as you frantically tear apart your purse (or bag, at this point, because it has so many unfinished gifts in it) hunting in vain for the pattern you swear you put in there before you left the house. Once you've realized the hopelessness of collapsing to your knees on a train headed downtown and pulling at your hair, screaming and crying like a child who left his favorite toy in the car, you calming put the bundle of needles and yarn back into the recesses of your bag and move on to the next project. And hope that pattern is still in the bag.

4. Running out of yarn. It sucks. It sucks worse when the store you bought it from went out of business months ago. Add a few curse words when you realize you've lost the tags with the dye lot number. Avoid slipping into knitting depression when you can't find it anywhere- not even online- within your price range, because when you originally bought the stuff it was on Mega-Going-Out-Of-Business-Never-To-Return-All-Purchases-Final Sale. Whoops.

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. I ran out of yarn. I cut my time so close that I literally wove the ends into two scarves, wrapped them, and drove to the party. An hour later they were draped around the necks of the lucky recipients who had no idea how much coffee I had to drink to keep my eyes open and fingers moving so they could open their precious scarves on Christmas. *sigh* I ran out of yarn for Ed's boxers. I can't find it for less than $8.50 anywhere, and shipping is almost as much as the yarn itself. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong places. My mom got a basket of Bath & Body Cherry Blossom lotion/shower gel/body spray/loofa/etc. from me. Never even finished the first glove. Two people actually just got a skein of yarn and a picture of the gloves that the yarn would at some point turn into. One person, whose gift I actually finished weeks before Christmas, has yet to call me back and say "hey, let's get together before you go back to school so we can hang out and exchange gifts." I'll just keep her hat, then.... I also packaged the unfinished Wanderlust Hoodie and wrapped it, gave it to Lori, and said "You'll get this...sometime." I haven't touched it yet. I can't pick it up. Hers is actually started- it wouldn't be fair to the others who only got a skein of yarn.

On the brighter side of Christmas, my dad's gloves were finished (leather palms and all) and he LOVES them. I'm so happy with how they turned out. They fit him perfectly, they're warm, and they won't slide all over the steering wheel on his way to work. Thumbs up to me! Gail's socks fit her wonderfully, and she loves them. She kept saying how she couldn't wait to get up, put them on, collapse into the new recliner Ed bought for her, and relax. Another thumbs up. The scarves, although rushed and shorter than I would have liked, still turned out nicely and Dale wore hers all night.

Now for the pictures. You heard me- pictures. I GOT A CAMERA! So now the pictures won't depend on the availability of my roommate's camera. So here goes:

I suppose that would be the most ironic thing that could happen to me. I get my own camera, take photos that I want to post on my blog, and load them all onto my computer, and what does the website do? Well, I can tell you what it doesn't you. Load pictures. Ugh. We'll see- maybe it'll load tomorrow. And then I can edit this post and put up the missing photos. For now, I'm going to go ahead and bind off.

Like I said- tomorrow.... *shifty eyes* >.> <.<>

Steph, modelling Isaac's Christmas gift: Knitty's Cigar Gloves. She was carrying the corn dogs upstairs to throw into the microwave oven for us to eat, and I caught her in a creative/sill mood. So, cigarette in one hand, frozen corn dogs in the other, she modelled the glove!

A close-up of Isaac's glove.

This is Steph's glove in progress--- it will be the same as Isaac's, only different yarn. Rachael will also be getting a pair.

Ladies and Gentlemen: My brother Jonah, knitting. He saw me doing it at Christmas, and said "I want to know how to do that-- Becki, teach me how." He got the basics down, but he was so frustrated that it wasn't perfect the first time, and he eventually quit. I'll get to him eventually.... just you wait...

A new development on the Wanderlust Hoodie: I forgot about the pattern corrections on the Interweave website. I completed one sleeve and half of the other when I was flipping through the magazine to check on something, and this folded white sheet of paper falls to my feet. I ginerly pick it up and unfold it, looking puzzled as I read the font size 12, Times New Roman words that were inked across the page. There, in my hands, were the corrections for the sleeves of the wanderlust hoodie. I'm such a dumbass... So in an oddly numbed stupor, I sat, ripping back the half worked sleeve and winding it into a ball, and then ripping back the finished sleeve and winding it into a ball. I'm glad I was numb, because I'm certain I would have cried if I weren't. Well, that's all for now. Enjoy future posts with pictures!


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